For many, modern life involves carefully juggling personal relationships, expanding careers, family time and personal growth. There are only 24 hours in a day, and a demanding ‘To Do List’ can quickly eat away at them all. Just remember that anything worth having in life is going to require effort, and a marriage is no different.
Realize you can’t do it all...and that’s ok!
We live in a fast-paced society that sometimes encourages us to try and “have it all”. The truth is, real life always comes down to making choices, which will inevitably involve sacrifice. Your priorities will naturally change depending on what’s going on at the time. The most important thing is being satisfied with those choices.
It’s not that you don’t love your husband if you need to put your job first during a really important time at work. You are one woman, and what you have to give at any one time will only stretch so far. So be sure to ditch any misplaced guilt. Yet it’s also a good idea to frequently take stock of your priorities to check that your actions reflect what (and who) is most important in your life. When we get caught in the mundane day to day stuff, we can quickly find our priorities have become muddied and require a bit of rearranging.
Quality time is just as good as quantity.
Ok, so lazy days are a thing of the past, but are you really connecting when you do get to spend time together? Are you listening to one another? Are you taking an interest in what else is going on in each other’s lives? Are you laughing together? Are you showing affection?
These things don’t necessarily require huge amounts of time, instead it’s more about genuinely engaging during the time that you do have. As nice as they are, you don’t always need grand gestures of candlelit restaurant dinners or weekends away either. It can come down to small choices like sitting down to eat together once the kids are in bed, or getting up 30 minutes early for a cuddle and coffee.
We all know that open and honest lines of communication are vital to any relationship. We’re never going to agree all the time in a partnership, and when we’re busy those lines of communication are more likely to become strained.
Make a conscious effort to communicate your thoughts, feelings and expectations to each other. You have the right to speak your truth to your partner, so don’t be afraid to let each other know both the good and the bad. But remember, in relationships perception and perspective matter. When we commit to marriage, we commit to taking on our partner’s version of things too and then reaching a compromise.
Don’t neglect your “me time”
Faced with an already grueling schedule, the concept of free time may feel like a laughable notion. Yet maintaining a certain amount of independence can make you a stronger couple. Time to relax, as well as follow your own passions, will make you happier.
The less stressed and more content you are, the more you have to give to your marriage, your family, your friendships and your work. It may mean practicing saying no to certain things, but sometimes putting yourself first is genuinely better for everyone in the long run.
Often, there’s really not a lot you can do about how busy life gets. No matter what else is going on, remember to always keep choosing one another, with both your words and actions. Love and connection is ultimately a choice, just like any other, and you’ve chosen to be by each other's side for the long haul.